


The Apology

by Panlock



Series: The Arrangement [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Age Difference, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Complicated Relationships, Dirty Talk, Guilt, Intersexed!Naruto, M/M, Misunderstandings, Omega!Naruto, Self-Loathing, Some Humor, Soulmates, alpha!kakashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-10-27 21:02:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20766908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panlock/pseuds/Panlock
Summary: Others are starting to notice that there's something off between Naruto and Kakashi. Shikamaru corners the blond, thinking the worst. Naruto realizes he's punishing more than just himself, and decides to actually talk to Kakashi about it. The results don't make things less complicated, but maybe they're a bit better.Shikamaru doesn't mince words. “If Kakashi isn't treating you right you don’t have to put up with it. Sakura and I could talk to him…get you reassigned or something,” he explains with stern but protective eyes.Naruto chokes on his lunch, coughing and pounding his chest to clear his throat. “No!” He shouts, finally finding his voice. “He’s…no, you got it all wrong he’s…fine.”Shikamaru quirks an eyebrow. “Fine?”The omega glowers. “Do I need to spell it out? What do you think we’re doing? It’s fine!” He shrieks, now mortified.NOT BETA READ





	1. Chapter 1

XiiX

* * *

Naruto is on a much-needed break from working in the Hokage tower. If he stayed in that office any longer, he’s sure he would have ripped Kakashi’s arm off, which really wasn’t fair considering the guy didn’t actually _do _anything. Rationale aside, the omega is in a foul mood. It doesn't help that all he can think about is Kakashi, and his voice, and the way he smells.

A walk is what he needs to clear his head. It's that or destroy another training field in a fit of helpless, conflicted, rage.

Naruto has his arms crossed behind his head as he strolls through town. He’s not making eye contact with anyone that he passes, and he probably stinks. It’s a day after his last heat, and it's likely everyone can smell the heavy, lingering scent of Kakashi and Naruto’s latest romp even through the blockers. At least no one is dumb enough to say anything about it.

“Hey, Naruto!” A familiar voice rises above the noise from the crowd. When the omega turns around, he spots Shikamaru trying to catch up. “You got a minute?” The dark-haired beta asks once he’s closer.

Naruto shrugs. He owes Shikamaru for the past few days, anyway. The beta always picks up extra hours when Naruto and Kakashi were _out_ and the guy never asks questions. “What’s up?”

Shikamaru looks tired, but that’s not unusual. “I’d rather talk in private. Wanna get some lunch?” He leads them to a BBQ place and takes a seat in the back.

After they order their food, Naruto snaps. “You gonna spit it out or what?”

The Nara sighs and looks off to the side. He’s slouched against the booth with his arms propped up on the back of the seat. “This is such a drag. Don’t bite my head off, alright? Sakura asked me to check on you.”

“Sakura?” The blond sounds surprised and confused. He sees the pink haired beta often. She works at the hospital and rarely goes on missions anymore. The girl never had a problem butting into his business before, what would stop her now?

“Yeah,” the beta winces. “I was worried too, actually.”

“What’s going on?” Naruto growls. He’s got a sinking feeling in his stomach and suddenly he’s lost his appetite.

“We just…look man, we know about your arrangement with the Hokage. I might be a beta, but even I can smell it on you.”

Naruto tries to get up to leave, having already heard enough, but Shikamaru was ready for that and grabs him with shadow possession jutsu. “Let me go,” he warns darkly and pulls on the binds.

“Just hear me out,” the Nara pleads with a strained voice. He’s struggling to keep his hold and in a war of attrition they both know the beta doesn’t have a snowballs chance in hell of out lasting Naruto.

The blonds eyebrow twitches, and he really considers throwing a royal _fit _but…Shikamaru is one of his best friends, so he sucks it up. “Fine," the blond relents and is released from the jutsu. "You’ve got till I finish my lunch,” he immediately tucks into his plate.

Knowing just how fast Naruto can put away some food, Shikamaru decides to bite the bullet. “Is he mistreating you?”

Naruto chokes on his lunch and his face goes deep red. He coughs and pounds his chest, trying to clear his throat. How the hell does he explain that it’s the opposite that’s true? Actually, our Hokage fucks like a pro and he gets me off like nobody’s business, happy?

“After…each time,” the beta explains carefully. “You’re really irritable and…you seem kind of angry at him?”

The blonds face goes from red to white and he thinks he might actually die here, with a rib lodged in his throat.

“If he’s not treating you right you don’t have to put up with it. Sakura and I could talk to him…get you reassigned or something,” he explains with stern but protective eyes.

Naruto wants to stick his head in the dirt. While it’s very touching to think his friends are willing to confront Friend-Killer-Kakashi and current Hokage for the sake of his honor, Naruto _does not _want them to have that conversation. “No!” He shouts, finally finding his voice. “He’s…no, you got it all wrong he’s…” gentle, kind, respectful, a beast in bed…“fine.”

Shikamaru quirks an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. “Fine?”

The omega glowers. “Do I need to spell it out? What do you think we’re doing? It’s fine!” He shrieks, now mortified.

The Nara leans back a bit, now both brows are in his hairline. He _can _read between the lines, apparently, and it seems he understands. “Ok,” he concedes slowly after a pause. “Then…if it’s not…uh,” he clearly struggles to word _the bomb sex you’re having. _“Why _are _you angry at the Hokage?”

Naruto looks down at his plate. He should wolf it down and leave Shikamaru with the bill for springing this shit on him. Instead, he sighs and looks up at his friend. They’ve gotten close over the years, as they both work mostly in the Hokage Tower these days. Shikamaru is also a beta, and he’s mated to Temari, so he’s one of the few people Naruto _knows _wasn’t on that volunteer list. If he was going to talk to anyone about this, it would be Shikamaru. Plus, the guy _did _ask. “I’m not angry at him. He’s done everything possible to make it easier on me.”

The beta takes a drink; maybe he realizes the issue is more complicated than he originally thought. “Then what’s the problem?” He asks bluntly, but not unkindly. “You were stomping around like the Hokage burned down Ichiraku’s.”

“Because I didn’t expect to like it,” the omega blurts, finally. “I shouldn’t like it. It shouldn’t be so good. I don’t want to like it.” His face is hot with shame. Even now, outside of his heat, Naruto finds himself thinking about Kakashi. He _wants _Kakashi to kiss him, to hold him, to be near him. He wants his things to smell like the alpha, and he wants him for more than just a heat-reliever. He wants the alpha on top of him, inside him; he can’t stop thinking about it.

“You feel guilty because...the sex is good?” Shikamaru asks carefully.

The blond leans back and forfeits his meal. “I thought it would be horrible. Before I knew who was going to be assigned to me, I thought the worst. I was prepared to hate everything about it... including the person and what they were going to do to me," he admits, and the mood drops. "A part of me wishes Kakashi wasn’t so…”

“Naruto,” the beta interrupts firmly. There’s a concerned expression on his face when he continues. “You’re talking about wanting to be punished.”

The omega jolts at the accusation, because he knows it’s true even if he hadn’t thought about it like that before. He feels like he should be punished for sleeping with someone who isn’t Sasuke, and now that he’s enjoying it Naruto doesn’t know how to deal. He feels confused, and angry. “Yeah,” he admits slowly like it’s still sinking in. “I guess so…I’m pretty fucked up,” he laughs sadly.

Shikamaru frowns. “You aren’t fucked-up. It's a fucked-up situation.”

"No kidding," the blond snorts.

"Look, it's none of my business but," the beta hesitates. "You're not doing anything wrong and you don't need to punish yourself."

Naruto feels like screaming. How can he just let it go? Isn't he dishonoring Sasuke by desiring another alpha? Isn't he betraying his own commitment to Sasuke, his soul mate, by wanting Kakashi again? "I can't help it," he snarls. "I keep thinking what if…Sasuke asked if I liked it. What would I tell him?"

What _would _Sasuke think if he knew Naruto liked taking Kakashi’s knot? How would Sasuke react if he knew Naruto had started dreaming about Kakashi, that Naruto wanted Kakashi to touch him? Would he be angry? Feel betrayed? Kill their former sensei in a fit of alpha rage? As far as the omega is concerned, it will be nothing good and it's his fault.

"Sasuke isn't here," the beta snaps with uncharacteristic fury.

Naruto's attention is jerked away from his pity party. Before he can even think of a response, Shikamaru is rounding on him again.

"You need this, as awkward and unorthodox as it is. It's better that you're with Kakashi than someone who would treat you like trash. If Sasuke can't get over his alpha bullshit to see that, he can eat shit.”

Naruto blinks. "...is that how you were going to talk to Kakashi when you thought he was being a prick?" The blond asks, somewhat dumbfounded by the typically mild beta's bark.

Shikamaru groans, "basically. Man, this is such a drag. You had me and Sakura worried...but this is just as messed up. You need to talk to him.”

"Yeah," The omega huffs. "That's exactly what I want to do." 

“I'm serious," the beta snipes. "If we thought you were angry, he probably thinks you hate him, which would make him feel guilty. Meanwhile, you feel guilty because you secretly don’t hate him. It’s a total clusterfuck and you need to talk to him.” The Nara is tired just thinking about it.

"That's great advice," Naruto says sourly. He has been playing as close to the chest as possible since he and Kakashi started their arrangement. It helped keep his emotions out of what they had to do, or that's what Naruto was telling himself.

The beta rolls his eyes. "Talk to him. It's stressing all of us out. You guys either smell like sex or like a fight is about to break out, sometimes both. It makes the whole tower tense."

Naruto hangs his head. "Yeah, alright," he concedes reluctantly. Even the number one hyperactive knuckle head ninja understands it's not a good idea to make a room full of Jonin anxious on a regular basis. He can't let this impact his work as a shinobi or the safety of the village. "I'll talk to him.”

"Good." Shikamaru sighs, looking like he just survived a battle. "You've got the rest of the day off, anyway. Hokage-sama sent me out to tell you to take a personal day.”

The omega winces. "Was I that bad?"

"Oh yeah," he laughs and looks at the omega with playful bafflement. "Are you sure he's as good as you say, because you definitely don't act like someone who's getting a good fu—ow!"

Naruto throws a rib square between Shikamaru's eyes. "Shut up, you perv!"

* * *

XiiX


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto: it's not you, it's me  
Kakashi: wtf

* * *

XiiX

It's the end of the week and Kakashi is itching to get out of the office. He's caught Naruto staring at him more than once today and isn't _that_ unnerving. Even if the omega's indiscriminate hostility seemed to be waning_,_ Kakashidoesn't want to press his luck. As far as the alpha is concerned Naruto is a powder keg and Kakashi—Hokage or not—treads lightly at all times.

The Copy-nin gathers his things and starts heading toward the door. "Don't stay here too late, you two." He says as he passes Shikamaru and Naruto, who are both going through stacks of files on the floor. 

Shikamaru elbows the blond and the two have a not-so-discreet glaring match as the Hokage walks by. Kakashi pretends not to notice and moves a little faster.

He's not fast enough, though, because Naruto jumps up and gets between him and the door. "Hey, uh," he stammers loudly and Shikamaru rolls his eyes in the background. "Can I walk you out?"

“Huh?” The alpha blinks and fights the urge to look over his shoulder. Surely, the volatile omega isn’t talking to _him_. Naruto hasn't had a nice thing to say to him in months, let alone had any interest in being near him more than necessary. 

The younger ninja frowns. “I thought we could talk. But if you're busy..." His tone has gone a bit hard and alarm bells are going off in Kakashi’s head.

The Hokage looks across the room for help. Shikamaru is doing everything in his power to ignore them. In fact, the beta literally turns his back on them and _walks away. _Traitor. “Ah, no. I don't have plans. Did you…erm, now?” _So _smooth, Scarecrow.

Naruto seems to soften a bit, though. “Yeah, if that’s alright? We can grab some takeout on the way to your place.”

The alpha is nothing short of baffled. Naruto’s next heat cycle wasn’t for another three and a half weeks. There’s no reason he should be asking to spend alone time with Kakashi, especially on a Friday night. Did something happen? Is his cycle out of sync for some reason? Or, does Naruto need to talk to him about something else?

Hell, could the omega be pregnant? Kakashi sways a bit and catches himself on a nearby bookshelf.

"Kakashi?" Naruto asks, looking confused. "You alright?" 

_ No, absolutely not, _he thinks hysterically. "Fine, just a bit hungry." He grins but feels half sick. "Lead the way." 

Naruto gives him a weary glance but must decide to drop it. He asks about what food they should get and talks enough for the both of them.

Kakashi let's his former student ramble while they walk through the city. It helps calm his nerves, and he reflects on the past few days. Naruto’s mood hasn't been terrible since right after his last heat over a week ago. Lately, things have been almost…pleasant?

Kakashi could nearly pretend they were how they always had been: friends, equals now, and shinobi who had been to hell and back. He considered Naruto one of his closest friends, and he appreciated that the blond never pulled his punches. He missed the effortless comradery and even having a sliver of that back has been nice. Only, even if things have been _better _recently, it will never be like it used to, not for Kakashi.

The alpha can’t pretend not to know what it’s like to see Naruto fall apart, what he tastes like, what he looks like with a private, indignant blush on his face. These things have crept into his chest and eclipsed his heart, shifting his feelings of friendship into something deeper. It makes his inner alpha eager to please and Kakashi is constantly fighting his instincts. He wants to scent the blond and put every alpha that looks at him twice through a wall. It’s not like Naruto even needs the protection but his inner alpha hasn’t got the memo. That’s the problem, really. His alpha instincts might press Kakashi to provide and protect and please, but Naruto has already rejected him. One day Sasuke will return, and Naruto will never come to Kakashi again.

So, when Naruto makes small talk while they pick up their food Kakashi doesn't relax. He doesn't let himself be fooled; whatever _this is_, it can't really be his. 

"How is Tamari's immigration request going?" The alpha asks as they turn toward his street. He's stalling, not wanting to talk about whatever's on Naruto's mind and ruin this easy flow they've recovered. 

"Ppft, boring," the blond says flippantly. Tamari and Shikamaru are mated, but she's still technically a Sand Shinobi. For her to have permanent residence in the Leaf and work for Konoha she needed to formally forsake the Sand. It was a long and tedious process with too much paperwork and even more back and forth with Sand bureaucrats. Shikamaru couldn't do it, as that was an obvious conflict of interest, so Naruto was saddled with the task. "Gaara is just as annoyed with the process as I am. Did you know Sunagakure customs require a formal ceremony to finalize the separation?" 

Kakashi had no idea, actually. "Is that a Sand Shinobi thing or a sister of the Kazekage thing?" 

"Pretty sure it's a _daughter _of a Kazekage thing, actually. We'll have to send a representative to Sunagakure when it's time." 

"You should do it," the Hokage decides easily and hands the blond their takeout bags so he can get the door. "You've handled all the paperwork and I'm sure the Kazekage would like to see you.” He pops the door open with his hip and lets them inside.

"Yosh!" Naruto whoops, sounding like the knucklehead child he once was not too long ago. "I haven't been on a mission in _forever." _

Kakashi winces. The omega hasn't been on a mission since he attacked that alpha over six months ago. Hell, has it been that long? They've been fucking for half a year. 

Naruto seems to work out the same thing, because suddenly his sunny mood from earlier evaporates. Or, maybe he's just noticed that they're finally alone, in Kakashi’s living room, and it’s getting harder to put off the inevitable. He looks up at his former teacher with an embarrassed grimace. "Food first?" 

Kakashi actually huffs a small, weak laugh. "Yeah, alright." They're both cowards, tonight. 

They settle down with Naruto on the love seat and Kakashi sitting to his left on the larger sofa. The alpha owns a small dining table, but it’s rarely used, and this feels less formal. They divide up the food without having to say much and fall into an easy rhythm as if they've done this countless times. On missions, yes, but in Kakashi's home? Never. 

Naruto never stuck around long enough to enjoy something as domestic and pleasant as a meal. In fact, he's never seen Kakashi eat without the mask. Now that he's seen the older ninjas face, he's more interested in seeing the sleight of hand. How _does _he manage to eat so quickly with the mask in the way?

The omega is so engrossed in his harmless, childish thoughts he jumps when the other man starts speaking. 

"I was surprised when you asked to talk," Kakashi says mildly while opening one of his containers. He keeps his eyes on the coffee table, trying to feign nonchalance. He's doesn't want to rock the boat, but one of them has to say _something. _

"Haa," Naruto laughs nervously and runs a hand over his spiky hair. "You and me both."

Kakashi doesn't look up as he brings his soup toward his face, but nods to let the other know he's listening. He pinches the mask and brings it below his jaw to smell the hot broth. He stops, though, because beside him Naruto's breathing hitched. The alpha cocks his eyes up, still holding the container near his chin. 

Naruto is staring, which is ridiculous because he's _seen _Kakashi's face. Several times. They've kissed! The alpha has had that face between his thighs. It never made Naruto stop before, why does it matter now? 

The omega couldn't explain it if he had to, but there's something intimate about the casual way Kakashi is perched at the edge of his sofa. His mask is pooled under his jaw and he's cupping a steaming takeout container with both hands. His slender shoulders are arched and his posture is lazy, but charming in an effortless way that probably made him as popular as Sasuke was. Even the relaxed but tired expression on his face is handsome and Naruto realizes that he's probably the only person alive to see Hatake Kakashi like this. 

"What?" Kakashi asks when it looks like the omega might stop breathing. 

Naruto blinks and his face washes of all color. "I think I'm going to be sick," he blurts and shoves his head between his knees. Which, ok, but what he _means_ to say is probably closer to _I think I could love you, but I'm too screwed up and I've treated you like dirt. _

Kakashi startles and sets his food down. He should be used to seeing Naruto panic by now, but it still makes his heart clench. He's such a lousy alpha, totally useless every time the omega needs him. "What's wrong?" His voice is surprisingly calm even though he's freaking out. _Holy shit what if he _**is**_ pregnant_? 

"Guh," Naruto groans with his face still toward the floor. "I'm just...realizing I'm an asshole," he waves his hand at the other as if to say _don't mind me. _When he looks up Kakashi has a tight, concerned expression on his face and Naruto feels another emotional blow. Lately his former teacher has shown him alot of concern and Naruto has been a shithead about it. "I'm trying to apologize for being such a jerk." He explains in a rush, unable to keep his guilt to himself any longer. And he had such a nice little speech prepared, too. 

The alpha visibly drops against the cushions. "Oh, thank fuck," he all but gasps. "I thought you were pregnant." 

"What?!" Naruto squawks, too horrified to hold on to his own turmoil. He's loaded up on birth control; luckily Kurama's chakra didn't mess with _that, _but it's not something they've ever talked about. 

Kakashi is slouching in his sofa, looking like a deflated balloon. "You don't even look at me unless it's for work or our arrangement. I assumed something important happened, and then you said you were going to be sick when we opened up the food." He explained quickly, not appreciating the daggers thrown his way. It was a reasonable assumption, damnit. "Stop looking at me like that." He grumbles and tugs up the mask again, feeling emotionally exhausted after that roller coaster. 

Naruto almost complains when his former teacher moves the mask over his face again. The sight of Kakashi so relaxed and open is exactly what caused his freak out, though, so maybe it'll be easier to have this talk with the mask in place. Naruto sighs, tries to calm his nerves and get this conversation back on track. "No, I'm not knocked up." He glowers, still sounding annoyed. "I just...uh, realized I've been unfair. To you. And I probably owe you an explanation." 

Oh, right. Kakashi was so relieved not to hear _you're going to be a father, believe it! _everything else flew right over his head. "You don't have to—" 

"Yeah," the blond interrupts. "I really do. I haven't been handling this the best and I'm taking it out on you. I'm sorry." His face is glowing by the time he chokes out his apology but he manages to do it without yelling. 

The alpha doesn't really know what to do with that. He feels all kinds of fucked up for letting Naruto apologize _to him, _but he also doesn't want to deny the blond his peace of mind, either. "Apology accepted, but you don't owe me an explanation." 

“Eeeh,” Naruto pulls a face. “I’m pretty sure you’ve earned it,” he coughs and looks to the side. It’ll be easier to say some of this stuff without having his former teachers cool, grey eyes on him. “Do you believe in soulmates?” He rubs his palm; the mark is tingling like fireworks in his hand.

Kakashi notices the way Naruto fidgets with his hand and frowns. Looks like they’re finally going to talk about Sasuke. “I don’t know, honestly.”

The omega looks at his hand. “I always felt kinda dumb for thinking it, but Sasuke is my soulmate. I can't explain it, I just… I always knew. He, uh… he feels it, too.” Naruto’s eyes are going big and round, losing focus as he remembers the moments that most defined his relationship with Sasuke. Their many fights and the times the dark-haired alpha left him stand out most clearly. He resists the urge to press his palm to his chest, where Sasuke tore through him when they were only 12.

XiiX

_ “You’re _mine, _Naruto_.” Sasuke had said with an angry, boyish voice. He had just presented as an alpha, and Naruto was a fresh omega. They both felt the pull but Orochimaru's curse mark corrupted the last of Sasuke's good will. Hateful patterns were smeared across his face, even as his young alpha jaws stretched for Naruto's attention. _“I have to kill you. If I don’t, you’ll always be here," _he gripped his chest over his heart.

Naruto knew he should have been horrified. His best friend wanted to kill him. It should _hurt, _and it did…but, it also felt like balm on his soul because Sasuke was acknowledging him. He was Sasuke’s, and Sasuke was his and they both felt it. They both _knew it._

When Sasuke left as his friend the last time, things had been different. They were alone in the forest just outside the gates, standing with all their history between them but no need to fight anymore. The raven-alpha advanced on Naruto as soon as he saw him, sliding up against the blond and boxing him into a tree. 

Naruto had immediately dipped his head to the side, unzipped his collar, and exposed his neck. He remembers the sensation of breath against the sensitive, flushed skin and how it made him whine. 

_ “How can you trust me,” _the alpha had asked with a low, interested voice while he nosed up and down Naruto’s jaw and neck.

_ “It’s got to be you.” _

_ "Naruto," _Sasuke said quietly, sadly, and took the omegas palm. He pressed the marked flesh against his own lips all the while looking directly into Naruto’s eyes. _“I can't stay here,” _his voice was soft, almost apologetic. 

_ "I know," _Naruto breathed. He could hardly believe his eyes at the time. Sasuke was gently holding Naruto’s hand against his own cheek. _"It's ok," _Naruto gave him a sad, sympathetic look. _"I'll wait for you." _

Sasuke growled and leaned forward, mouthing at the omegas throat. He licked and sucked Naruto's neck until the mating gland was hot and swollen. _“Omega,” _he huffed and pressed in so close the blond nearly disappeared from view. 

Naruto's legs quivered. Sasuke had _never _called him _omega _before and his mating gland was throbbing and all he can do is grip the alphas shirt to steady himself—and then Sasuke nipped his gland. It wasn’t enough to pop the seal or create more than a snap of fleeting pleasure …but it felt like a promise to Naruto.

Sasuke moaned, short and deep right against Naruto’s neck and then he abruptly stepped back. The look on his face was tense, like he was a holding on by a thread, but managed to pull himself together. When he had calmed down, he reached for Naruto’s hand again. _"I can feel you through this." _

"_Me too." _The omega admitted, still breathless from the not-bite. The mark on his palm gave him a line to Sasuke, like a beat on his very pulse. 

_ "You always have a way to find me," _he squeezed Naruto's hand once and let it drop. 

Naruto smirked, _"and you know where to find me." _

XiiX

Foolishly, it hadn't felt like goodbye. The memory made Naruto feel hopefully and giddy for months. They hadn't even kissed; a lifetime of commitment was still vague at best but it was _real _to Naruto.

The omega doesn’t explain all this to Kakashi. He’s trying to find the courage to say something else. “I’ve been so sure that Sasuke was it for me, the idea of being with anyone else felt... wrong. I hated myself so much for needing this. I hated that I wasn't normal and that I had to..." He trails off, feeling the insistent tugs of self-loathing creep up. 

"Are you and Sasuke mated?" Kakashi asks, because that's what it sounds like. Naruto doesn't have a mating scar, but maybe the Kyuubi healed that, too? That would explain alot, actually. 

Naruto shakes his head. "No. We never...not officially." 

Kakashi is relieved to hear that, for more than one reason. 

"I wrote to him, when all this shit happened,” Naruto explains with a vague roll of his wrist. "He...he couldn't come back. He told me to do what I had to...but I had already promised to wait for him." He tries to sound calm and unaffected but when he grins at his former teacher his eyes are dull and hurt. "And you know me, I never go back on my word." 

It makes the alpha see red. How could Sasuke be so cruel? He _knew _what staying away would mean for Naruto, and he still didn't return? He left Naruto to make a horrible choice and deal with the fall out all by himself. 

"So, when I decided to do _this, _I guess I tried to justify it to myself. Before I knew who would...before you, it seemed easy. Of course, I was going to hate it, right?" He coughed and rubs his thighs up and down nervously. "I felt like…if I was out of control and an alpha just… used me, it wouldn’t count. I wasn’t going back on my word if I hated it." Naruto's voice waivers as he continues. "I told myself it was just this thing that had to happen to me. It wasn't sex if I didn't want it." He looks sick, as if he’s hearing his own words for the first time and he’s horrified. “I tried, ah—” he shudders, “tried to not like it, and I was angry with you when that didn't work.”

Kakashi remembers their first time, how Naruto rushed them and purposely didn’t tell the alpha he was a virgin. Kakashi had wanted to take it slow, even showed his face to offer a semblance of equality but Naruto rejected his efforts. He had been frustrated, not understanding why the omega would force them into such an awful situation. Even now, after he hears the reason, he can't wrap his head around it. Naruto tried to use him for pseudo rape hate-sex. "What...” He starts, words slow and awkward in his mouth. "What do you expect me to say to that?"

Naruto shakes his head, trying to wring the guilt from his voice. "I don't know." 

Kakashi looks away, unable to face his former student. He folds forward, elbow on his thigh and hand over his covered face. The thing is, he's used to people thinking the worst of him. Before he was Hokage he was Friend-Killer, son of the cowardice traitor, unhinged Anbu Captain, lecherous creep, loner.

People started treating him differently when he took Team Seven, as hellacious as they were. Maybe there was something about an alpha rearing three almost-pups that settled some nerves, but his public image changed. People stopped looking at the alpha like he was just good for doing what no one else had the stomach for. He didn’t even care what others thought of him, but Kakashi will never forget the hopeful way Naruto and Sakura looked at him, like the cut-throat Copy-nin was _decent_ and _good_ and _dependable_. Even Sasuke had regarded him with trust, and respect. It made Kakashi feel worth something. He loved all three of them, would die for them...and Naruto really thought he was capable of _this? _

"Do you hate the thought of me that much? Was I that awful to you?" The alpha asks, unable to soften the bite in his voice when he turns to look at the blond. A small part of him wants to be cruel and recount all the times the omega came on his knot...but Kakashi isn't what Naruto thought he was. 

Naruto flinches at the harsh tone but immediately answers. "I never hated you or anything you did." Instinctually, he bows his head. Tapping into his omega nature without the influence of a heat is a little bizarre, but he _wants _to submit to the angry alpha in front of him. He's in-tune with Kakashi's mood, can feel his ire through the air, and it makes Naruto want to go belly up.

"I don't know what kind of man you think I am, but I'm not going to play the part of your rapist." Kakashi's voice is harsh. "I only agreed to do this so that you wouldn't—" he cuts off, trying to reel in his anger. He doesn't need this shit, not the pain or the insult or this fucked up love triangle. 

Naruto feels the urge to go to his knees, so he does. What's the point of fighting it anymore? His pride is useless if he can’t make this right. He slides down quickly, before either of them can stop it, and puts his forehead on the alpha's knee. "Please," he gulps and holds himself on the floor with the back of his neck bared. It wasn't meant to be sexual, but the overtones were clearly intimate. You didn't expose yourself like this unless you trust the person above you. "I know I fucked up, but you were per-_perfect." _Naruto hiccups and struggles with the naked honesty, but he'd rather walk over hot coals than let Kakashi think Naruto felt used or abused. "Even when I fought it, my omega trusted you. I trust you. I know that you would _never._" He grips Kakashi's pant legs and tears spring from his eyes. 

The alpha stares at the vulnerable strip of Naruto's exposed neck. It's not his mating gland, but if Kakashi wrapped his teeth around it the omega would go limp for him. Fuck, he wants that, wants some proof that Naruto isn't disgusted by him. "You trust me?"

"Yes," the younger ninja doesn't hesitate. "I trust you. I trust you." 

_ Don't ever touch my neck. _

Does Naruto trust him enough to give him this? Kakashi slides one, large hand over the blonde's scalp and down, over his exposed nape. 

Naruto whimpers, but doesn't jerk away. The weight on the base of his neck is soothing, and it makes his inner omega relax. 

Kakashi sighs and starts petting the blond, running his palm down and back with warm, broad strokes of his hand. He hasn't forgiven yet, but the acrid scent of panic and agony from Naruto makes him want to comfort the omega all the same. He is so screwed. 

Naruto makes soft, wet pants against Kakashi's knee and the alpha offers occasional content growls. It's lulling, and slowly some of the panic bleeds out of Naruto's scent. "I'm glad it's you," the omega confesses softly and slides his hands up Kakashi's leg. 

The alpha's hand falters as it runs through blond locks. He wonders if anyone has ever played with Naruto's hair like this, if anyone showed him easy, casual affection. It's not like Kakashi has had a wealth of experience, either, but he remembers his parents and he's had lovers. Naruto only ever had Team Seven. "The day we agreed...you could barely look at me." Kakashi doesn't mean to sound so insecure, but now that he knows how Naruto framed their arrangement he can't help it. 

“I was scared,” the omega's tone is hushed, but honest. "And confused. I didn't think it would be you." 

Kakashi sighs again, remembering how he tried to assign this responsibility to Yamato. He had agonized over it, didn’t want Naruto to think he had gleefully taken the _job _for himself. "I tried to assign you to someone else," he admits. He wants to explain why he ultimately decided to put himself in this position. 

Before the alpha can say another word, Naruto grips Kakashi's pant legs again and presses his face against the alpha's knee. "I'm glad it's you," he repeats with tight shoulders and his scent is rising in fear again. "Please, I don't want someone else. Don’t make me go to someone else." 

Kakashi hauls Naruto up to his lap and grabs him by the arms. “Naruto, look at me.”

The omegas face is red, eyes heavy and wet from tears and he’s biting his bottom lip to stamp out the sob bubbling up. He expects Kakashi to reassign him to someone else, to pass him off like a bothersome D rank mission no one wants. And why wouldn’t he think that was likely? His own soulmate can’t be bothered to stick around.

"I'm not going to do that," the older ninja promises and Naruto sucks in a harsh, wet breath. "I'm...still upset," Kakashi explains but holds the omega firm. "And some things have to change but, I’m not backing out, if you still want me.”

Naruto nods his head up and down while fighting a wobble in his chin, unable to talk. He would be embarrassed, but he's too relieved to care. He’s still sitting in the alpha’s lap, even though he’s too old and too big to be held like this. “I’m really sorry.”

Kakashi relaxes his grip on the blonde’s arms and his face softens. “I know,” he doesn’t tell the other _it’s ok _because it’s not. This whole situation is far from ok, and they both know it.

“Can I, uh,” Naruto wipes his eyes with his wrist and sniffs back the rest of his tears. When his hand drops his face is still a little red, but not from sadness. “Would it be alright if I stay like this for a little while?” His eyes skitter to the side, bashfully avoiding the alpha's reaction to this uncharacteristic request. 

Kakashi's lazy expression opens up with surprise. Naruto wants to be held. “Sure,” he murmurs and pulls the omega closer, until the blonde’s thighs are open and wrapped around his hips.

Naruto curls forward and lets Kakashi hold him against his chest. His cheek is against the alpha's collar; he can hear the others heartbeat, and smell his smokey, powerful scent. This is the first time Naruto has been so close to Kakashi without the pressures of his heat or sex clouding everything. It’s nice.

Vaguely, the omega recalls being a tiny whelp of a Genin and thinking Kakashi was so cool, and strong. Naruto remembers the alpha's promise to never let a comrade die and how, for the first time in his life, he had felt safe. How did he forget that? 

Kakashi runs his hand up and down Naruto’s back, over his neck, and into his hair. It helps calm them both and even though he knows they still have _a lot _to talk about, Kakashi can’t bring himself to end this peaceful moment. They stay wrapped around one another until their food gets cold and the sun sets.

Naruto starts to purr and tilts his face up, so his mouth is angled toward the alpha’s covered neck. Even through the fabric, Kakashi can feel the heat and pressure of Naruto’s breaths. Before he can think twice about it the alpha asks, “do you want to stay here tonight?”

The omega’s fingers twitch against Kakashi’s chest, but otherwise he doesn’t move. “Yeah,” he breathes. “I do.”

* * *

XiiX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a weakness for Kakashi being a normal dude doing normal dude things ❤
> 
> Definitely open to feedback on characterization in this chapter. I feel like Naruto is a little ooc, but I think alot of his bluster in canon is also a defense mechanism...anyway, let me know if you think the character changes were at least realistic.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Kinky) make up sex!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back at it with the smut

XiiX

* * *

_ Do you want to stay here tonight? _

_ Yeah, I do. _

This was a step far out of bounds. Naruto isn't in heat; he isn't in pain; this isn't necessary and they both understand that. They’ve already steamrolled over Naruto’s two rules: Kakashi has been petting the omega’s neck for over an hour and Naruto opened the floodgates around Sasuke. The only boundary they haven’t crossed was the condition that Naruto instigate their trysts, and Kakashi wants to squash that, too.

The alpha slides his hands down, wrapping both around the omega's slightly wider hips. At the same moment Naruto reels back enough to look down at the other, rather than hiding his face in Kakashi's shoulder.

Naruto’s blue eyes are soft, unworried, but interested when he rocks back. For the past hour, wrapped up in the arms of his former teacher, the atmosphere had been somber and peaceful. Now, Naruto can feel a rising charge between them like electricity in the atmosphere. He can smell how Kakashi's natural woodfire scent is coiling in the air and feel how his own body is heating up in response. 

The alpha looks up at the younger ninja in his lap. "You should tell me if you want to stop." His fingers creep up, getting under Naruto's shirt. 

"Kay," the omega breathes. He sounds almost dazed, but his hand is steady when he reaches out and pulls down Kakashi's mask to kiss him. It's soft at first, like Naruto is afraid he's going to do it wrong, but then Kakashi moans and the blond deepens the kiss by holding both sides of the alpha’s face. 

The older ninja runs his hands up Naruto's shirt, stroking his trim flank through the fishnets. He leans back in the sofa and arches his pelvis up, letting his legs drop open. The position leaves him slouched, but the angle gives him space to roll his hips up. 

"Take my shirt off," Naruto gasps against the others lips and kisses him again. He can feel the older ninja’s hardening erection between their clothes and tentatively slots the open cradle of his pelvis over the alpha’s cock. The hot collision makes him keen right into Kakashi’s mouth and he drops his hips again, with more confidence.

Kakashi wrangles the clothes over the other’s head but leaves the mesh. The sight of Naruto grinding in his lap and wearing the fishnets like lingerie twists something in Kakashi’s stomach. “You’re a fucking tease.” He growls and paws at the blonde through the netting, squeezing Naruto’s waist while he grinds them together. 

Naruto puts one hand on his former teachers shoulder and slides the other down his own stomach. He lifts the mesh slightly, revealing his taut lower abs while he keeps his hips rolling. “You never tried to take it off,” the blond says in refence to the mesh.

“And I won’t, unless you want me to.” Kakashi murmurs while eyeing the tan strip of Naruto’s stomach. He can see the lean, muscular cut between the omega’s hips, the sharp vee of his pelvis, and runs his thumb over the sensitive bare skin. Kakashi looks up, and Naruto is watching him with a parted mouth and dilated eyes.

“Do it, take it off.” Naruto orders and before he finishes the command Kakashi rips the fishnets clean off his chest, shredding the fabric entirely. “Fuck.”

“Is that what you want me to do next?” The alpha asks with a playful grin, but his hands are roaming up and down the blonde’s bare stomach and hips. He wants to turn the omega around and see the long, muscular expanse of his back; he wants to bite his shoulders and kiss the nobs of his spine.

“Maybe,” the omega gasps. “I don’t know,” he adds with his face to the ceiling. Suddenly, he feels overwhelmed. He wanted the fishnets gone, wanted to remove the boundary they represented, but the sensation of Kakashi’s warm, roaming hands all over him is too much. He goes up on his knees, separating where they were locked together and grinding, and tries to catch his breath.

The alpha moves his hands down to Naruto’s backside and kneads both hands over the omega’s firm ass. “There are other things we can do,” he offers and pulls Naruto closer, so he’s face-first in the omega’s groin. Kakashi mouths at the other’s dick through his pants while playing with a handful of his ass.

“S-shit,” Naruto stutters. Briefly, he wonders how he ever tried to fool himself. Hate this? How? Kakashi was giving, gentle, experienced, and hot. Naruto never stood a chance.

“Yeah?” The older ninja asks and palms Naruto through his pants. The omega is hard. He wants to know if he’s wet, too.

“Yeah,” the blond agrees and they both, somewhat awkwardly, manage to shimmy out of their clothes.

When they’re both naked Kakashi brings them down to the sofa again, so Naruto is still sitting astride his hips but he’s flat on his back. He strokes the blonde’s thighs and groans, “you look good like this, omega.”

Naruto blushes at the praise. “Figured you’d like me better under you,” he says cautiously. He’s self-conscious about his body, but during his heats he didn’t have the capacity to worry about it. Now, with a clear head, he’s all too aware of how exposed he is like this. His knees are braced on either side of the alpha’s hips, and the lips of his pussy are parted obscenely. Worse, his cock is hard and jutting out between them. He tries not to squirm, but it’s not easy with how the alpha eyes him up and down.

“And why would you think that?” The older ninja asks and pulls Naruto forward by the hips. It’s not enough to force the blond on his dick, but it drags the omega over him for a fleeting, teasing second.

“Hmm,” the omega’s eyes flutter at the sensation of Kakashi’s dickhead grazing the wet, sensitive seam of his pussy. “Alpha’s don’t…I shouldn’t,” he stammers and sways, rocking down on the others dick but Kakashi holds him up, doesn’t let him drop his hips yet.

“Alpha’s don’t what?” He asks with all the patience in the world and slides his hands up Naruto’s thighs to pet at his slit. He doesn’t press into the omega yet, just runs his fingertips across the soft opening again and again while his dick stands heavily next to Naruto’s.

The blond looks down and notices that his cock is only a few inches smaller than Kakashi’s. He squeezes his eyes shut, embarrassed and nervous. He knows he doesn’t fit the bill for a traditionally attractive male omega. The societal standard is petite, demure, and always with small genitals, so not to offend their alpha partners. Of course, Naruto is none of those things; he’s muscular, tall, and aggressive. He’s also hung like a beta or even a modest sized alpha. It’s another way he’s different, weird. “Alpha’s don’t submit,” he finally answers with a whine. He wants to be good; after how he acted before he wants to please his former teacher so badly, but he doesn’t know how.

“Izzat so,” Kakashi drawls. He wraps his hand around Naruto’s cock and strokes him slowly while keeping his other hand on the blonde’s muscular thigh, fingertips near his slit. “I bet you also think your dick is too big,” the alpha comments with a toothy grin. Naruto is heavy and thick in his hand; he loves it.

The blond doesn’t say anything, but he stares down at his former teacher with hurt eyes and a high blush on his face. He's sure he’s about to be teased even as Kakashi jerks him off and plays with the wet seam of his cunt. 

“Do you know what I think?” Kakashi asks and slides his finger across the sensitive lips between the omega’s legs. “I think you could fuck me with your big, thick cock.” He strokes Naruto faster and the omega groans. “I've thought about it,” he confesses and delights in the way Naruto looks wrecked at the idea. “Does that excite you, omega? You want to mount me?” He presses a single finger up, sinking into the tight, wet place where Naruto opens.

Naruto’s eyes roll back. The alpha’s confident hand pumping his cock, the firm, slender finger pressing inside him, and the mere thought of _fucking_ his former teacher—it’s too much. Is that what Kakashi wants? It never crossed Naruto’s mind that the alpha was only doing what he had to before, and not fully indulging sexually. But now, it seems so obvious. Kakashi has laid himself _under _the blond, wrapped his hand around the omega’s dick, and is confessing to fantasies about being mounted.

Fuck.

Fuck, _yes_.

The omega snarls and before Kakashi knows what’s happening the blond has him pinned to the sofa. Naruto holds his former teacher’s wrists above his head with one hand and leans over Kakashi’s face to kiss him stupid.

The alpha moans and lets Naruto ravish him. Maybe some part of him is still hurt from their earlier conversation and he doesn’t want to be in control right now, or maybe he’s more of a freak than he thought, but this shouldn’t be so good. Kakashi should _hate _the idea of being forced on his back and overpowered. He doesn’t hate it, though; he wants to open his legs and let Naruto have his way.

The omega uses his other hand to hold Kakashi’s chin and shoves his face to the side, exposing his neck. He presses his nose against the older ninja’s throat and breathes the scent of him in. He’s acting like an alpha, forcing his nose and mouth over the other man’s vulnerable neck. “You like this,” the omega accuses and drags his teeth over sensitive skin. He can smell it, taste Kakashi’s arousal like honey dripping through his jaws.

“Yes,” Kakashi gasps. Alpha’s, too, have a mating gland, but it remains dormant until the alpha bites an omega. There is no way Naruto could bite and claim him, but the lingering threat of the omega’s sharp teeth is still dizzying.

The blond moves his free hand down and presses three fingers between his own legs. The penetration makes a soft, wet noise and Kakashi groans, knowing what’s happening even if he can’t see it. Naruto is _dripping_ and when he withdraws his fingers, they’re coated with his slick. He leans back, still pinning Kakashi against the bed with one hand, and wraps his wet fist over his own cock.

The alpha looks down and curses at the sight. Naruto is still baring his teeth, holding him down, and now jerking off over his pinned body. “Holy shit.”

Naruto's hand is gilding easy and fast over his dick and the wet, fleshy sound is obscene. "I could fuck you using my own slick as lube. Would you like that, alpha?” Naruto groans and rocks his head back like he can hardly stand the thought. “I could make you eat me out until I'm dripping wet, then slick myself up like that before I push into you.”

Kakashi’s hips jump and he struggles against the blonds hold on him. Not because he doesn’t like it, but because he feels like he could come and Naruto _isn’t even touching him. _“Oh my god,” he arches off the couch, but Naruto is _strong, _and he can’t move his upper body. He can only thrash and thrust his hips up, desperately trying to get some friction. “Please, I need—”

Naruto growls, seemingly effortless in his ability to hold Kakashi with one hand even as he pleasures himself. “You can beg, too? I begged for you so many times, alpha.” His voice is tight, breathy. He’s getting off on this, too. Kakashi is twisting and writhing under him, dick hard and untouched against his tight, pale stomach and it’s _so hot. _“Fuck, I’m close.”

“Come on me,” Kakashi asks, sounding desperate and unashamed, like he needs it.

Naruto moans and pumps his cock twice more before he’s coming. “Fuck,” the omega watches his come jet out and cover his former teachers dick and thighs. It's the filthiest thing Naruto's ever seen, and it makes some possessive part of his nature proud and pleased. He strokes himself through it, holding Kakashi down until the last dregs of come bead over his sensitive cock head. When he’s done Naruto looks over his former teacher; Kakashi is wrecked.

The alpha is panting, chest heaving and flushed. His cock is ramrod straight against his stomach, stripped with Naruto’s come, and so hard it must hurt. He’s totally debauched, and he hasn’t even been touched.

“Look at you,” the omega swears at the sight and wraps his hand around Kakashi's messy cock. He spreads come and slick over the alpha, and Kakashi keens. 

“Oh, _fuckyes_,” the older ninja bucks up. His eyes slam shut, and he focuses on the warm grip enveloping his shaft. It’s so good, even just this light embrace—then he feels a shift of weight and opens his eyes. “Fuck. _Fuck,_” he swears because Naruto is positioning himself over his cock and sliding down.

“Fuck me, alpha,” Naruto orders and releases the other’s wrists.

Kakashi grabs the blond by the hips and plants his feet on the sofa, forcing Naruto down while he drives himself up. He works the blond over his cock, using his arms to lift and drop Naruto as he arches up. He’s so turned on, been wound up for so long, he knows he isn’t going to last. He fucks into Naruto hard and quick, selfishly pressing in and in _and in_ and Naruto is just taking it, moaning and bracing himself with his hands on the alpha’s chest. 

“F-fuck,” Naruto stutters and his eyes roll back. Kakashi is bucking under him and gripping his ass. It’s rough and desperate and _perfect _because Naruto knows _he _did this to Kakashi. He reduced his former teacher to a mindless, horny mess. 

“Feel so fucking good,” the alpha growls, eyes heavy on his own dick as it sinks into Naruto over and over. The blond is bouncing on Kakashi’s cock, using his powerful thighs to ride the alpha and fuck, he’s close. “Can I knot you?” He needs to know. He can’t wait anymore, can already feel his knot expanding and bumping against the slick mouth of the omega's pussy.

“Yeah, give it to me, c’mon.” Naruto grinds down on the alpha’s knot, feels it press him open and pop in place. The omega arches and gasps; getting knotted outside of a heat is intense and he clamps his thighs as it fills him up.

Kakashi snaps his hips up once more and feels his orgasm hit him like lightening. He arches off the sofa, digging his heels into the cushions, and throws his arms around Naruto. He shouts into the blonde’s chest while his knot is milked around the omega’s cunt, unable to do more than shiver and _hold on_.

Naruto braces Kakashi against his chest while the alpha comes down from his high. The older ninja’s body jolts and shakes. He can’t seem to catch his breath. He’s totally out of it, and Naruto wonders if the alpha was always so vulnerable after sex or if this time was different. Either way, Naruto feels protective of the debauched and exhausted alpha in his arms. “You ok?” He asks after a moment, nosing Kakashi’s sweat-damp hair around his ear.

“I don’t know my own name,” Kakashi gasps and pulls back, dropping onto the sofa again. “Holy shit.”

Naruto laughs and drapes himself over the alpha like a content cat. They are, again, tied together but this time Naruto doesn’t mind. In fact, he finds he likes the deep intimacy of it. Kakashi drops one arm around the omega and threads his fingers through Naruto’s hair again. “That feels _so good,_” the blond purrs loudly and snuggles closer. His legs are still spread wide over the others hips to accommodate their tie, but his top half is pressed against Kakashi’s abdomen. It’s oddly comfortable, and they stay like that for a few minutes. But, eventually, Naruto can’t help himself and ruins the afterglow. “This changes things, doesn’t it?”

_ Of course, it does, _Kakashi thinks morosely. He knows, for himself, that ship has already sailed. He also knows that Naruto still loves Sasuke, and nothing he does can change _that_. “It doesn’t have to, if you don’t want.” 

Naruto doesn’t say anything right away. A part of him still feels guilty, but he’s learning to accept things that are out of his control. It’s true that he needs this, but he also wants it. He wants Kakashi; he likes the alpha’s presence and confidence and how he makes Naruto feel safe and wanted— but he can’t forget about the mark burned into his hand. It’s tingling, reminding him of a promise made and commitment shared. He feels like he has to make a choice, and it breaks his heart. He starts to panic and doesn’t know what to do—

“I’ll never come between you and Sasuke.” The alpha can smell how his words immediately calm the anxious omega, and it’s bittersweet. He can make Naruto happiest by not getting in the way, so he’ll do that when the times comes.

Again, Naruto doesn’t know what to say. He feels relieved because he doesn’t have to choose. He’s also comforted to know he will never have to watch Sasuke try to kill their former teacher. He loves them both too much for that. But—even through the relief, Naruto still feels bereaved. An insecure kernel takes root in his heart: _Why would Kakashi fight for something he didn’t want in the first place? _The blond pinches his eyes shut and fights the intrusive feeling.

“Naruto?” The alpha asks. 

“I…I don’t know how long Sasuke will be away,” Naruto points out quickly. “It could be a long time.”

“I know,” Kakashi confirms and scrapes his hand down the blonde’s scalp.

Naruto lifts his head and looks up at the alpha. Kakashi’s hand is still on his head, sliding down to hold the side of his face. Naruto leans into that touch. “Can we…just, make the best of this while we can? Is that ok?” God, he hopes so. _Please, tell me it’s ok. _

The older ninja knows this is a bad idea, and yet… “Yeah.”

The omega tucks his face down again, hiding himself in Kakashi’s chest. “Thank you,” he murmurs tiredly. Naruto ends up falling asleep like that, pressed against the alpha’s chest and stuffed with his knot.

Kakashi doesn’t find sleep, though. Who knew how many opportunities he would have in the future? He can’t afford to waste this moment and enjoys having Naruto pressed against him, sleepy and content. Kakashi runs hands through the blonde’s hair and down his back.

Naruto finally stirs an hour later and groans. He’s sticky and sweaty and hungry. Kakashi lets the omega use his shower while he reheats their untouched dinner. Their second attempt at a meal goes much better, and they agree on a new set of guidelines while they eat.

  * They can meet as often as they like, in or outside of the omega’s heats, but never publicly. They both agree a scandal isn’t in anyone’s best interest and, Kakashi explains, the alpha is a private person. Despite being known for reading porn in public, he’s not fond of PDA.
  * Naruto lifts the ban on touching his neck but asks Kakashi not bite him. It’s a fair request. The blond might trust his former teacher to put his hands, lips, and tongue there…but Naruto doesn’t want to be claimed. He knows that the alpha won’t cross that line, and he doesn’t feel the urge to cover his neck anymore.
  * Naruto promises to work on his guilt issues, and to never project on Kakashi again. He tells the alpha that no discussion is ‘off limits’ anymore, and that his earlier cageyness was unfair.
  * Kakashi promises not to come between Naruto and Sasuke, when the other alpha returns.

When they go to Kakashi’s bedroom later that night Naruto realizes the room faintly smells like him. He growls quietly, content to know that he’s left a small claim on this place. The room is dark, and private, and even though he’s been there several times before he feels a little nervous. He’s never slept in the same bed with someone else. The alpha doesn’t seem bothered, though, and tugs the omega against him and covers them both with blankets.

To calm his own nerves, Naruto cracks a joke. “Not interested in round two?” He’s too tired to think about sex, but the quiet intimacy of sleeping next to someone is getting to him.

Kakashi yawns, “only if you’re on top.”

Naruto tightens slightly, more than a little interested in the idea. “Do you…you really want to?” Naruto asks curiously. He knows what Kakashi said before, but they were also…a little worked up. It’s possible that it’s just a fantasy, and not something the alpha actually wants to try.

“Maybe not tonight,” the older ninja concedes and lets himself press his nose into the omega’s nape from behind. He’s a little obsessed with having his mouth near the blonde’s neck now that it’s allowed. “Does that bother you? That I’m interested?” He nips the omega on the back of the neck playfully.

“No,” Naruto answers quickly and presses into the alpha behind him. He doesn’t want Kakashi to think he finds it weird or perverse. There are many societal expectations about how alpha’s and omegas _should_ behave and while it’s not unheard of for alphas to submit to their lovers, it’s considered a perversion in polite circles. It would definitely ruffle some conservative feathers if it was known an alpha Hokage got off on being fucked like an omega, anyways. “I liked it, I was just surprised,” he clarifies. “Have you ever…done it before?”

Privately, Kakashi is relieved that the blond is still open to the idea. While he didn’t think Naruto would kiss and tell, so to speak, it was still a compromising thing for an alpha to admit. “No one’s ever mounted me,” he hooks his chin over the blonde’s shoulder and speaks near his ear. “You would be the first, if we try it.”

Naruto’s breathing catches and he turns his face. Kakashi is grinning at him over his shoulder, looking mischievous and maybe a little nervous in the dim lighting. His stomach does a flip, and yea. He wants that. “We could,” he agrees and hopes he doesn’t sound _too _eager.

He probably fails on that front, though, because the alpha laughs. “Go to sleep before we get worked up again,” he cautions playfully and kisses the blond on the cheek, and then the shoulder.

“Yeah, ok, fine,” Naruto grumbles but finds his eyes closing easily enough.

* * *

XiiX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes on Kakashi's interest in being 'mounted': Culturally this roughly translates to a hyper masculine straight dude asking his girlfriend to use a strap on. It's not a full blown taboo, but in this universe it would be scandalous for an alpha (especially one in power like the Hokage) to get off on that. 
> 
> Notes on Naruto's body image: yeah I know, the guy didnt need another reason to be insecure but I can't help myself. In this universe Naruto isn't really built like most other omega's (mostly due to Kurama's influence) and he's self-conscious about it. He doesn't necessarily dislike his body, because fuckit he LIKES being strong, but he doesn't want it to be a turn off in the bedroom. Naturally, Kakashi is basically into that (AOB centric) genderfluid noise.
> 
> BTW I love you guys. The comment convos are so much fun ♡ drop me a comment so we can talk about these crazy guys, or Naruto fandom in general. I love it. 
> 
> That's it for The Apology.  
The next installment will be titled It's Complicated.


End file.
